As punishments went, Lizzie Howard could have done a lot
worse.
The “recommendation” was for her to get out of town for a
few days, and she’d chosen to visit her best friend,
Charlie, in Jewell Cove. The story Lizzie’d given Charlie
was that they could spend the weekend celebrating
Lizzie’s thirtieth birthday. That sounded much better
than the truth, which was that she was slinking away from
Springfield with her tail tucked firmly between her
legs.
Thirty. Her career was supposed to be taking off instead
of stalled in its tracks. How the hell had this happened?
The wind was cool even for spring in New England as
Lizzie’s convertible wound around the scenic road that
led to her best friend’s house. Charlie lived with her
husband, Dave, a few miles from town limits. Their home
was nestled along a curve in the road, its cedar deck
overlooking the shimmering waters of Penobscot Bay—the
perfect retreat for Lizzie to clear her head.
With each mile separating her from Massachusetts, she
could feel her tension ease a little. Maybe Maine
wouldn’t be so bad after all, she thought, pulling in the
gravel driveway in front of the little cottage Charlie
now called home. Gray shingle siding and white-trimmed
dormer windows gave it a cozy, worn-in look. The trees
and lilacs were budding, unfurling their new spring-green
leaves to the sun, and at a small white picket gate hung
a quaint little sign that read: Seashell Cottage.
Lizzie loved it immediately. It was like something off a
postcard.
As she got out of her car, she realized that the walk-
way to the door was lined with shells and she let out a
soft laugh. Her best friend was living in an idyllic
world far away from the high-class Boston neighborhood
where she’d been brought up.
Lizzie breathed in the sweet-scented air and smiled to
herself, thinking of the shell-studded candles she had in
her bag as a delayed housewarming present. Her only
regret was that she hadn’t come sooner. She hadn’t
actually seen her friend since Charlie and Dave’s des-
tination wedding on a Jamaican beach in January.
At least she wasn’t completely out of touch where her
best friend was concerned. Lizzie knew Charlie had always
wanted a home like this. Nothing big or ostentatious, but
a little corner of the world that she could call her own
and an adoring husband across the breakfast table. A few
babies with brown eyes and dimples to call her “Mama.”
Lizzie wanted more. She’d been working her ass off in
Springfield, determined to fill Ian Fortnam’s shoes as
Chief of Emergency Medicine. It was what her father
wanted for her and she would do him proud even though he
wasn’t here to see it. The fact that Ian had been the one
to ask her to take a leave of absence—a strong
suggestion that Lizzie equated to a suspension—annoyed
the hell out of her.
Ian insisted it was because he cared and the time off was
for her own good, but she wasn’t so sure. Yes, she’d
screwed up, with devastating results. She’d admitted
that. And she had been working too hard. She admitted
that, too. But the biggest mistake she’d made was having
an affair with Ian in the first place. They’d remained
“friends” when it ended, as they both knew it would, but
she hated that he was in a position to influence the
career she’d worked so hard to build. Mixing her
personal life with her professional one was a mistake she
wouldn’t repeat again. Ever.
So now here she was, standing in the dappled after- noon
sunlight, miles from home and hospital. Lizzie shouldered
her travel bag and blew out a breath, determined that
she wouldn’t be dragged down again. She’d make the most
of the days ahead and recharge her batteries. This was
only a weekend, after all. Didn’t she deserve that much
of a break?
When Lizzie returned to Springfield it would be time
enough to fight to get her position back. This forced
leave was utter nonsense. If there was a lawsuit, it
would be settled, just as they always were. She was a
good doctor. Everyone would move on. . . .
She was halfway up the shell-lined path when the screen
door slammed open and Charlie was there, bouncing on her
toes and with one hand on her slightly rounded belly.
“You’re here! You’re finally here! At my house!”
“Yes, I’m here.” Lizzie laughed, her dark thoughts
banished by Charlie’s enthusiastic greeting. “I promised,
and here I am.”
Charlie came down the stone steps and drew Lizzie into a
hug. “Gosh, it’s good to see you.”
Lizzie felt Charlie’s strong arms around her and closed
her eyes. It wasn’t one of those polite, restrained hugs
full of pretension between casual friends and col-
leagues. This was big, hearty, and full of affection.
After all the weeks of being so very alone, it felt
wonderful. She could feel the firm baby bump against her
own tummy and laughed, drawing back and framing the
gentle roundness with her hands.
“My God, look at you. You’re beautiful.” Tears pricked
Lizzie’s eyelids and she laughed selfconsciously. “And
showing already.”
Charlie laughed, too, wiping her eyes, then tucked her
dark hair behind her ears. “Dave says future line-backer
in the making. I’m not due until September.”
“He could be right.”
Lizzie straightened, looked at her best friend, and
couldn’t stop smiling. No unwanted pregnancy here, no
angst or uncertainty. This was, Lizzie realized, exactly
how it should be. “You’re glowing, Charlie. God, I’m so
happy for you.”
Charlie sniffled and beamed even as she flapped her hands
at her tears. “You see? This is why you needed to come!
It’s going to be good for you. You’re skin and bones,
Liz. I’m going to stuff you full of yumminess all
weekend.”
“Hey, I eat.”
“Peanut butter doesn’t count.”
Lizzie couldn’t help but laugh. Charlie was the closest
thing to a sister she’d ever had, and they’d definitely
gone through starving student days when peanut butter
sandwiches kept them going, especially during long days
of labs and hospital shifts. In an emergency they’d
forgotten about the bread and just gone for a spoon.
“Come on in. Dave will be home later this afternoon and
he promised to cook us dinner. We can sit on the deck and
catch up.”
Lizzie followed Charlie into the house. The inside was as
charming as the outside, filled with sun-strewn windows
whose light bounced off walls the color of the sand on
the beach below. The flooring was wide plank hardwood,
stained a gorgeous shade of oak. White country cupboards
filled the walls in the kitchen and a stunning butcher
block held a bowl of lilacs, bring- ing the fragrance in
from outside.
“This is your room,” Charlie said, opening a door. The
walls were the same sandy taupe, but splashes of aqua at
the windows and on the duvet brought it to life.
“It’s beautiful, Charlie. Just beautiful.”
“Get yourself settled, then come find me,” Charlie
offered, stepping out to give Lizzie a moment of privacy.
Lizzie put down her bag and went to the windows. The room
overlooked the ocean, the sun glinting almost painfully
off the constantly shifting surface. She knew why she was
here and it had little to do with her birthday or even a
suggested leave of absence. She was running from her
grief and running from her problems, pure and simple.
A lone sail bobbed on the water, skimming parallel with
the shoreline. She squared her shoulders. Not running,
she corrected. Regrouping. There was a difference.
She found Charlie in the kitchen heating the kettle.
“Tea,” Lizzie said with a smile. A plate held several
cookies. “And shortbread. Did you read my mind?”
“It’s not my shortbread, are you kidding? There’s a
bakery on Main that is amazing. I’ll take you there to-
morrow.” She handed over a square and poured water into
the mugs. “I still haven’t learned to cook very well. Oh
well. No one’s perfect, right? Dave cooks and if all else
fails there’s takeout. Or frozen pizza.”
Lizzie took a nibble of the cookie and sighed happily.
“It’s yummy.”
“It’s orange spice. Told you it was amazing. Jewell Cove
has all sorts of treasures and I’m going to show you them
tomorrow. We’re going to hit all the shops along the
waterfront.”
“You wouldn’t still happen to be trying to sell me on
covering your mat leave, would you?”
Two weeks ago, just before Lizzie was ordered to take her
“break,” Charlie had called asking if she wanted to cover
her maternity leave. Leaving Springfield right now
wasn’t an option, not when what Lizzie really needed to
do was get her act together. She had a job, a reputation,
at stake. Responsibilities. Like proving to Ian and the
rest of the administration that she was worthy of the
faith they’d placed in her. Proving to herself that she
hadn’t lost her edge. Physicians lost patients; it came
with the job. They had to deal with it.
Besides, family medicine in a small town would bore her
to death, even for a few months.
Charlie handed over the mug, a saucy grin lighting her
lips. “Shamelessly. Is it working?”
Lizzie had to admit, the pretty drive and idyllic set-
ting had already eased some of her tension. But this was
a weekend, not months. And she figured she’d only last a
few days in a small town before going stir-crazy. “Let’s
go outside,” she suggested, changing the subject. “I need
to hear the ocean.”
They settled into Adirondack chairs and Lizzie closed her
eyes, let the sun bathe her face as she listened to the
shushing sound of the waves hitting the shore below and
the gulls shrieking as they circled. The spring breeze
was fresh and chilly; Lizzie pulled her knees in and
rested her feet on the edge of the seat. Charlie said
nothing. She always seemed to know when Lizzie needed
quiet and when she needed to talk. After a few minutes
Lizzie opened one eye and squinted to look at her friend.
Charlie was taking a sip of tea, completely comfortable
to just be. One hand rubbed the curve of her belly.
Lizzie would bet any money that the action was one of
sheer habit, and she took a moment to appreciate the
picture that was Charlie, burgeoning with motherhood.
Lizzie didn’t know exactly how to explain how she felt.
Adrift, maybe. Definitely alone. Her mom and dad had been
her guiding stars. Losing her mom to Alzheimer’s bit by
bit was terrible, and visiting her now was bittersweet,
never knowing what state of mind Rosemary would be in.
But losing her dad . . . they’d been so close. Going
through the last months without his wisdom was horrible.
She’d put every ounce of energy into work, and she
didn’t even have that now. She had no idea how to explain
it all to her best friend, but she desperately wanted to.
“I needed this,” she said simply. “So thank you.” Charlie
reached over and took her hand. With any-one but Charlie
it would have been awkward. But they’d been through a lot
together, since the beginning when Lizzie had walked into
her dorm room to find Charlie on one of the beds. The two
made an unlikely pair, but from the first moment they’d
been there for each other. Just like they were now.
“Everything’s out of control, Charlie. Just every-
thing.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
“For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do.”
She felt her lip wobble. “I don’t know what to do,” she
whispered.
“Oh, honey,” Charlie said, squeezing Lizzie’s fingers. “I
know it’s been so hard. I should have been there for you
more. . . . I’m really sorry about that. I suck as a
friend.”
“You had enough on your plate, with the pregnancy and
planning the wedding and everything.” Lizzie tried a
watery smile. “And look at you. You were always so shy,
so reserved. Dave’s been so good for you. He really
brought you out of your shell.”
Charlie’s gaze softened. “He is pretty wonderful. But
that doesn’t make it all right that I neglected you.”
“Well, I’m here now. Just what the doctor ordered.”
Charlie nodded. “Hey, don’t worry. I know you. You’re
like a rubber ball; you always bounce back. You’ll figure
it out. I know you will.” The confidence in her voice was
clear.
But Lizzie shook her head. “I don’t know this time. I
don’t know who I am, or what I want. . . . The one thing
holding me together was work.” She squeezed Charlie’s
fingers back before letting them go.
“You’ve been grieving so hard, Liz. I know it’s been
eating away at you. You’re here now, and that’s what
matters. You did the right thing taking some time off.”
Lizzie smiled but felt herself crumbling inside. How
could she admit that her vacation wasn’t voluntary?
Charlie was under the impression that this weekend was
just that—a weekend. Lizzie’s smile wobbled and she took
a deep breath, promising herself she wouldn’t cry. “I
wasn’t ready to talk about it before. Didn’t want to.”
She swallowed, hard. “Couldn’t.”
“But you want to now?”
She took a sip of tea, the hot brew restorative, warm-
ing her belly, giving her strength to say the painful
words. “I’m falling apart, Charlie. Seriously falling
apart.” Her voice broke on the last syllable.
Charlie turned in her chair, tucking her legs beneath
her. “What is it? Can I help? Are you sick?”
Lizzie shook her head. “Nothing that sleep won’t cure.
But I’m not sleeping. I’ve been working extra shifts just
to keep busy and keep myself occupied.” Mistake number
one.
“And burning yourself out.”
Bingo. “What else am I supposed to do?”
Charlie didn’t answer but waited patiently. Lizzie
thought that Charlie would make a very good mother. She
was logical and tolerant and always thought things
through. Marriage, too, had given her a new kind of
serenity that Lizzie envied. Lizzie didn’t have that kind
of patience. She didn’t wait for things; she went after
them. Always moving forward and not backward. There were
so many other things she wanted to do before having
kids . . . if ever.
She struggled to speak past the tightness in her throat.
This was so unlike her! She was a doctor, for God’s sake.
She handled tough decisions every day. She spoke to
family members and delivered bad news and it wasn’t easy,
but she always kept it together. But it was different
when it was her own life. Her own feelings. She
couldn’t look at Charlie or the sympathy she knew would
be in her best friend’s eyes. She looked out over the
sparkling ocean and whispered, “I didn’t know that when I
lost him I’d lose everything. I haven’t even brought
myself to put the house on the market. I don’t want it,
but I can’t bear the thought of someone else there. It’s
like it’s waiting for him to come home and say it was all
a mistake.”
Charlie wisely stayed put in her chair. Lizzie didn’t
think she could handle any more hand-holding or hug-
ging. She was feeling pretty fragile, ready to break
apart at any moment. It was as if Charlie sensed it and
after a few seconds of stunned silence she regrouped.
“Your dad’s not coming back, Liz.”
“I know that. And then I go to visit my mom, and—” She
was mortified to realize that tears were slipping down
her cheeks and she scrubbed them away with her hands.
“She asks where he is. She doesn’t remember that he died.
Or she’ll say he’s been to visit her when that’s
impossible, and it’s like ripping open a wound again.”
“Sweetie,” Charlie said, and her thumb rubbed
reassuringly over the top of Lizzie’s hand. “I’m so
sorry, Liz. I wish I could make things better.”
But Charlie couldn’t, not really. Though simply being
here helped.
“I can’t put things off any longer. Everything is such an
unholy mess and somehow I have to fix it. I’m so angry!”
Liz admitted the dark truth with a burst of frustration,
relief sliding through her as she finally said the words.
She was angry at a disease she couldn’t do anything
about, turning her mother into a stranger. She was angry
at the suddenness of the stroke that had taken her
father, a cruel irony for a man who’d dedicated his
life to saving others. And she was angry at herself for
slipping up and the devastating consequences that
followed.
“Your dad loved you. You know that.” Charlie ran a hand
over the swell of her belly, the action making Lizzie
feel suddenly left out. “Your mom adores you, too. Of
course it’s going to take some time for you to grieve.
You just shouldn’t be going through this alone. I wish
you had someone . . . the way that I have Dave.” A
wistful smile touched her lips.
Lizzie couldn’t help the small smile. Charlie was head
over heels in love with her new husband. “I knew this
would come back to my love life eventually.”
“What love life?” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Exactly.”
Lizzie focused on picking shortbread crumbs off her
jeans, glad she’d gotten some things off her chest and
very glad they’d changed the subject somewhat.
“Whatever happened to that doctor you were seeing at
Christmas? The cute one with the reddish hair and big
laugh?”
Lizzie felt her cheeks heat. “That’s over.”
“I can tell by your tone who ended it. I thought you were
crazy about him?”
Lizzie shook her head. “Ian’s last act as my boss was to
tell me to take a leave of absence. He’s not on my list
of favorite people these days.”
Charlie shut her mouth. Picked at her shortbread. Took a
sip of cold tea.
“Oh for God’s sake, say something,” Lizzie snapped,
unable to take Charlie’s silence.
Charlie got up, picked up her chair, and moved it so she
was sitting knee to knee with Lizzie. “He did you a
gigantic favor in my opinion,” she said firmly. “Look,
here’s what I know for sure. Russell Howard loved you.
You loved him. No, hear me out. He was human, and you’re
human, too. If you’re angry, be angry. My question to
you is, what do you want to do now? Because whatever you
want to do, I’ll help you.”
Anxiety seemed to tumble around in Lizzie’s stomach.
“Everything feels so out of control, Charlie. I don’t
know how to deal with it. And I haven’t been able to
admit that to anyone before now.”
Charlie smiled softly. “If you had the answers you
wouldn’t be finding this so difficult. And honey, you
don’t need to decide today. I know that’s hard for you to
accept, but it’s true. Stay the weekend and stop
worrying. Look around. The offer is still open to take my
place for a few months. I’m planning on starting my leave
July first, as long as I can find someone to cover.”
Lizzie dropped her chin. “My head is so messed up. I
can’t bring all that into the practice you’ve built.”
“Don’t worry about that. The other doctor is great. I’m
already working reduced hours. It’d just be . . .
backup.” She smiled encouragingly.
“Colds and ingrown toenails. Lovely.” But Lizzie’s lips
twitched. Charlie was like a dog with a bone when she got
an idea in her head. Nothing was going to make her give
it up. “Besides, I’m sure the town is nice, but isn’t it
a bit . . . dull?” Dull as in dead. There probably wasn’t
a movie theater, or a martini bar, or decent restaurants.
“I know you’re impossible when you’re bored. But there is
a lot to do here.” At Lizzie’s skeptical look she
insisted, “There is! Including sleep. You look like hell,
Liz. Besides, Portland isn’t far away if you need some-
thing more . . . cultured. There’s more to Jewell Cove
than you think. It’s only for a few months. It’s not like
it’s forever or anything.”
Finally, Lizzie laughed. Charlie was better for her than
any prescription. “Thank you, Charlie. For inviting me to
visit.” When Charlie raised a doubtful eyebrow, she
capitulated, “For making me come. I didn’t know who else
to turn to.”
“I’m always here; you know that.”
“But just because I’m on leave doesn’t mean I’m saying
yes.”
“It ups the chances. And I’m not above using a little
blackmail.”
“More shortbread?”
Charlie put her hands on Lizzie’s knees. “If you stayed
the summer, it means that my best friend in the whole
world would be with me when my baby was born.”
Lizzie’s nose stung and her bottom lip quivered. It was
no secret that Charlie’s mom and dad weren’t exactly
the nurturing type. Lizzie couldn’t imagine them being
doting grandparents, or Mrs. Yang sitting through the
undignified process of childbirth, even though she’d gone
through it once herself. “That’s playing so dirty,”
Lizzie whispered.
“It’s true,” Charlie answered. “You need someone, Lizzie.
And I need you. You’re the closest thing to a sister I’ve
ever had. I want you to be our baby’s god-mother.”
Lizzie felt herself slipping. But she had to be strong.
She hadn’t even seen the town yet. Or met the other
doctor. And where would she find a place to live this
close to tourist season? Surely everything was rented in
advance.
“I’ll think about it,” she replied. It was all she was
able to commit to at the moment.