By the time she'd relieved herself, changed and scarfed down a meal bar, Rupert had the box on an examination table, lowered to below waist height. He'd also cranked up the heat to make the room bearable. As she walked through the door, the shaking of bells and the opening bars of Jingle Bells drifted through the air.

"Happy holidays, Zoe."

"Thank you, Rupert. And though it's a few weeks early, Merry Christmas to you too."

She edged her way toward the box, sniffing the coffee Rupert had made for her while she changed clothes. "Do you have any idea what it is?"

"Of course I do. It is standard procedure to read and record items based on the manifest."

Zoe cocked an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't want to know?"

"I don't! I'm just anxious to see what it is."

"There is a message to be read before the present is opened. ‘Dear Xion Corporation employee. Here is a small token of our thanks for a job well done in 3145. May you have a blessed and bright 3146!'"

Zoe smiled at Rupert's exuberant reading. "Yeah, 3146 wasn't too bad."

Lonely as hell, but not bad.

Circling around the table, she stopped at small control panel on the end. "I guess now is as good a time as any."

"I have to admit this is a bit exciting. Tell me again why we don't do this more often?"

"Because we have no gifts to exchange. And you have no hands."

"Ah, right."

The polymer box was cool to the touch, stealing the heat from her fingers as she traced the path around the control box. Taking a breath, she pressed her thumb to the ID pad and waited for her identity to be confirmed. The security seal snapped open and the box's lid retracted in on itself, exposing the contents for her.

"What the..."

Leaning over the edge, Zoe couldn't believe what she was seeing. Stretched out in all their naked glory were the perfectly formed features of the most gorgeous man she'd ever laid eyes on. No, not a man. A bot. A sex bot.

"Oh. That's not what the manifest said it was." Rupert's voice sounded far lower than Zoe ever remembered hearing. "Is that a 9000 model?"

"I don't have a clue. I've never actually seen one of these before."

There was a pause and Zoe pictured Rupert searching the network for details. "I believe the main improvement in the male 9000 model over the 8500 was the length of the unit's penis. They lengthened the erection from seven inches to—"

"Thank you, Rupert!" God, the last thing she needed was him discussing how long the bot's cock was. It was weird enough without her computer's feelings of inadequacy. "Umm, I'm not sure what to do with it."

"The manual states that in order for the unit to be activated, the user must participate in oral DNA transfer. This will help facilitate bonding and ensure the model can't be—"

"Rupert!" Zoe hung her head.

"You have to kiss him."

Oh. Zoe pressed a hand to her now warm cheek. "Kiss?"

"Yup."

She chuckled. "You just said yup."

"I'm working on my colloquialism. Was that appropriate timing?"

"It's just the two of us here. Why do you need colloquialisms?"

"Just kiss him." The ventilation system rattled. "I want to power down soon."

Zoe leaned in, stopping a few inches above the bot's mouth. Licking her lips, she turned her head to the side and flicked her gaze over to the monitor. "I feel a bit dumb. I don't think I could actually have...you know..."

"Sex?" Rupert was sounding far too cocky.

"Yes, sex. But it might not be a bad idea to have another body around the place. Another pair of hands at least."

Rupert hummed air through the vents but said nothing.

Turning her attention back to the bot, Zoe let out a huff, leaned in and pressed her mouth to the bot's."