"Profound and soul-stirring"
He Came in With It
By: Miriam Feldman
Genres: Non-Fiction Memoir
Posted: July 19, 2020
HE CAME IN WITH IT is a true story of despair, helplessness, perseverance, and finding hilarity in unlikely places. It is a story of a family shattered and rebuilt. It is a story of a mother’s reflection on her own regrets, guilt, and perceived failings. It is a story of the havoc schizophrenia can wreak across an entire family unit. But at its core, this is a story of powerful love and unending hope for a promising future. HE CAME IN WITH IT is Miriam Feldman’s story, and we get to know her son Nick’s struggle with schizophrenia through her eyes.
Miriam and her husband Craig are working artists living the American dream in Los Angeles. They live in a great neighborhood, and have three children, of whom Nick is the eldest. Nick had always seemed to be a deep thinker, reflecting on shadows, death, and the magnitude of the earth relative to a single being at a very young age. Coupling this with his natural artistic talent, Miriam’s hopes and dreams for his future are boundless. Nick is a popular, handsome and creative teenager, so it isn’t unusual for him to be out and about with friends throughout a weekend. However, an early morning call home raspily asking for Miriam to come get him changes everything. Miriam finds Nick disheveled and bleeding, and knows she needs to sort out and control the situation.
What follows is Miriam’s reflection on the ups and downs of uncovering and managing Nick’s mental health diagnosis. Much like she might layer paint onto a wall to result in a beautiful mural for the world to behold, Feldman expertly layers different experiences with hospitals, the system, Nick’s living situation, and his highs and lows on top of her retrospective reflection on the deterioration of her partnership and the toll her focus on Nick takes on her daughters. She pulls no punches in sharing her feelings and experiences, not only inviting you in to understand her life and family but also demanding you stay to gain awareness and think through the broader societal shortcomings about which her story raises questions.
HE CAME IN WITH IT definitely deals with heavy-duty subject matter, but don’t let that intimidate you or cause you to miss out on this truly astounding, profound, and soul-stirring memoir. You will find yourself unexpectedly laughing when Miriam laughs, and crying sometimes when she cries, too. Long after you finish reading, Miriam and Nick will stick with you. Ultimately, this is because Feldman’s candid exploration of the challenges she faced will make you consider: is the status quo good enough? What else can we do societally to better equip families navigating the uncharted territory of mental illness? What would you would if this was your son?
Book Summary
In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations of families enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens permanently off the conventional course.
Like the ten Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another, violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning…even cancer and a brain tumor…play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal of artmaking and drugs. With no time for hand-wringing, Miriam advances, convinced she can fix everything, while a devastated Craig retreats to their property in rural Washington State as home becomes a battlefield.
It is while cleaning out a closet, that Miriam discovers a cache of drawings and journals written by Nick throughout his spiral into schizophrenia. She begins a solitary forensic journey into the lonely labyrinth of his mind.
This is the story of how mental illness unspools an entire family. As Miriam fights to reclaim her son from the ruthless, invisible enemy, we are given an unflinching view into a world few could imagine. It exposes the shocking shortfalls of our mental health system, the destructive impact of stigma, shame and isolation, and, finally, the falsity of the notion of a perfect family. Throughout the book, it is the family’s ability to find humor in the absurdities of this life that saves them. It is a parable that illustrates the true definition of a good life, allowing for the blemishes and mistakes that are part of the universal human condition. He Came In With It is the legacy of, and for, her son Nick.
Read an Excerpt
by: Miriam Feldman
Turner
August 1, 2020
On Sale: July 21, 2020
Featuring:
320 pages
ISBN: 1684425115
EAN: 9781684425112
Kindle: B081K84J2V
Hardcover / e-Book / audiobook